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Loan Yoda
Info Ever since he was young, Yoda had an urge to get more money. Even when he was just a Youngling, Yoda began seeking out ways to get money and had already become the richest Jedi. He quickly achieved the rank of master. He had already started up a gift shop in the Jedi Temple, a news show in the Jedi Temple, a restaurant in the Jedi Temple, and an illegal spice smuggling network. Yoda even charged for getting a drink of water. Yoda also created his own bank and gave out loans. Early life Youngling When Yoda first arrived at the temple, he was already very rich. He soon showed signs of greed when he would take money. By the time Yoda could speak, he was offering loans with large interest. Padawan class When Yoda became a Padawan, he had to attend class with other padawans. Yoda already disliked the place because it smelled like poor. Yoda later would take the other students desks. He would ask for a desk but the other Padawans said no. Yoda then gave one a lot of money and the Padawan gave up his desk. Yoda did this two more times. When the teacher saw three Padawans sitting on the floor, he saw Yoda sitting on the top of a tower of three desks. When the teacher scolded Yoda, Yoda threw money at the teacher and the teacher allowed Yoda to keep the desks. Life before the Clone Wars Yoda's bank While Yoda was still a Jedi Knight, he started his own bank. He gave out loans with large interest. The InterGalactic Bank soon took notice of Yoda's successful operations. They offered to merge with Yoda's bank. Yoda agreed. He became a manager of the InterGalactic Bank. He also became a loan shark. Yoda's restaurant The jedi Temple restaurant was doing well and getting a lot of customers until a new restaurant named Pizza Hutts opened up a few buildings away. Customers stopped going to Yoda's restaurant and went to Pizza Hutts. This angered Yoda so he decided to investigate. Yoda went to Pizza Hutts. He ordered some coffee. When he was given his mug, he realized that there was no warnings about the coffee being hot. When nobody was looking, Yoda spilled some on his lap. Yoda complained about being burned by the coffee. He later sued Pizza Hutts. A new law was put in place requiring hot drinks to have a warning label. Yoda became the owner of Pizza Hutts and had the restaurant demolished. Customers returned to Yoda's restaurant. Attack of the Clones Yoda went to Kamino to inspect the clones and see if they would be able to be used on Geonosis. When Yoda went inside the main building, he noticed that it didn't meet galactic regulations on wet floors. He saw puddles everywhere. He decided that he would get some quick credits. He went into a hallway and spilled water on the floor and deliberately slipped. He then sued the Kaminoans. Yoda got millions of credits and was allowed to use the clone troopers whenever he needed. Yoda also gave away loans so more clones could be made. Clone Wars More money opportunities Yoda greatly encouraged clones to get their own names. Yoda did this because it would allow for more merchandise. Yoda had a line of action figures for each clone trooper. Evicting the clones The clone troopers used to be able to live in the temple but they got their hands on a lightsaber and destroyed a couch. After that incident, Yoda evicted the clones. Ahsoka's credit card Ahsoka somehow got her own credit card. She spent all the money on it and didn't think she would have to pay it back. When she returned to her room, she found Mace Windu. He had destroyed one of the items she bought. He then said she had to repay the money. Later, Yoda showed up. He wanted his money. Since Ahsoka didn't repay any of it, Yoda began taking possession of the items Ahsoka bought. He then cut up all of Ahsoka's credit cards and left. Getting his starfighter dented At one point Ahsoka deflected a laser bolt into Yoda's starfighter. Yoda billed Anakin and Ahsoka. Anakin's attempt to make Yoda forget about his debt While Anakin and Kit Fitso were practicing mind tricks, Yoda came to get Anakin's loan payments. Since Kit Fitso was very good at using the mind trick, Anakin told him to use the mind trick on Yoda. Kit Fitso tried to use it on Yoda to make him forget about Anakin's loans but Yoda was not tricked. Kit Fitso ran away and Yoda made Anakin pay up on some loan payments. Teaching a class While a class was going on for padawans, Yoda went in to teach them as a guest speaker. He brought Darth Maul with him to show the students what a Sith looks like. Yoda then decided to show the class what a spice bust looks like and he called in a spice dealer to bring in some spice. Darth Maul managed to escape. When the dealer arrived, Yoda beat him up and sent him off to prison. Losing his memory Anakin and Ahsoka were practicing lightsaber combat when Anakin knocked one of Ahsoka's lightsabers out of her hands. The lightsaber deactivated and fell over the side the temple since they were outside. Down below, Yoda was counting his money. The hilt hit Yoda on his head. Anakin and Ahsoka could hear Yoda shouting curse words and they ran inside. Ahsoka went to her room and Anakin went into his. Yoda arrived outside of Anakin's room holding the lightsaber hilt. Yoda questioned Anakin about the lightsaber. Yoda said it looked like Ahsoka's. Anakin lied but Yoda wanted proof. Anakin and Yoda went into Ahsoka's room. Yoda pointed out that the lightsaber he had looked like Ahsoka's lightsaber and that Ahsoka just so happened to only have one lightsaber now. Yoda was about to make a fuss when Ahsoka accidently tripped Yoda. Yoda fell against some crates and one of the crates fell over on him. Yoda claimed to not know who or what he was. Mace Windu arrived to see what was going on and he said that Yoda had amnesia and was now in Anakin's care since he was paralyzed. After making Anakin do things for him, Yoda revealed he knew who he was and just wanted to make Anakin his servant. yoda still claimed he was paralyzed. Anakin took the keys to Yoda's starfighter and said he would drive it since Yoda was paralyzed. Yoda jumped off the couch and grabbed the keys and left. Taking ownership of 79's When returning to the Jedi Temple, Anakin was flying in his Jedi starfighter. R2D2 complained about something. Anakin became distracted and then noticed Yoda's Jedi starfighter. Anakin stopped his starfighter but it slightly bumped Yoda's starfighter. Anakin got out to check on Yoda. Yoda said his back and neck were broken and that he was paralyzed. Yoda was of course perfectly fine but wanted money. He continued his act and was delighted that Anakin didn't have insurance. Yoda got out of his starfighter and met with Anakin about the issue at a table. Yoda said he was paralyzed from the neck down. Anakin had to pay for the slight dent in Yoda's starfighter. This caused Anakin and R2D2 to get jobs at a bar called 79's. While on a delivery trip, R2D2 distracted Anakin by complaining about their last customer. This caused Anakin to once again nearly hit Yoda's starfighter. Anakin once again stopped his starfighter and it barely even touched Yoda's starfighter. Anakin got out because the horn on Yoda's starfighter was going off. It turned out that Yoda had face planted on the horn. Yoda was pretending to be paralyzed. Yoda was extremely upset at Anakin and then he noticed Anakin was working for 79's. Yoda then decided to sue 79's. Yoda became the owner of 79's. Because he was owner, he encouraged the clone troopers to drink there. Reporting on the ship crash At some point, Anakin bought Ahsoka a remote control probe droid. Ahsoka and Captain Rex flew it around outside. The droid was accidentally flown into a ship's engine which caused the ship to crash. Yoda was later informed of this when he was running his Jedi News show. He commented on how Anakin bought a droid instead of paying his loans. Yoda was later seen offering a loan to the pilot of the ship. Firing a temple guard A Jedi Temple guard (who would later become The Grand Inquisitor) needed to make up his payments. He decided to help out at the Jedi Temple Restaurant. The manager was Mace Windu. Mace forgot to tell the guard to charge money but made him be at the register anyway. After many purchases were made Mace Windu said the guard should have made a lot of money but when he looked in the register, there wasn't more money than from earlier. Mace Windu then yelled at the guard for giving away free food. All of a sudden, Yoda slammed the door open. He said that he heard the conversation over the surveillance. Yoda was very pissed off about the guard giving away free stuff so he fired him. Yoda also kicked the guard out of the temple. Since Yoda was Mace Windu's boss, Mace Windu couldn't do anything about it. Yoda continued shouting about the money. He then decided to take the amount that would have been made out of Mace Windu's paychecks. Revenge of the Sith When Anakin went to seek Yoda's advice on his visions of Padme dying, Yoda told him to let go of everything he feared to lose. However, Yoda also said that Anakin still had to pay his bills and pay back his loans. Then Yoda charged Anakin for the advice. Later, when the council allowed Anakin to be on the council, Yoda charged Anakin money. Yoda said it was because Anakin raised his voice. Yoda decided that he would go to Kashyyyk to collect money from the Wookies. When order 66 was activated, Yoda offered Commander Gree a loan. When Gree saw the amount of interest, he attempted to kill Yoda. Yoda killed Gree. Yoda managed to get to the temple when Vader was in it. Yoda took Vader's lightsaber and charged him money. Vader got away with his lightsaber. While Vader fought Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda fought Palpatine. Yoda billed Palpatine and left. Before Yoda went to Dagobah, he gave R2-D2 a loan with very high interest. R2 knew he would have to find a way to pay Yoda back and since he knew where Yoda was going, R2 vowed to never go there. Early Days of the Empire During the early days of the empire, Yoda shut Kamino down because the Kaminoans couldn't repay their loans. Yoda gave small loans of a million credits for the Death Star. Yoda also gave loans to the rebellion. R2D2's debt It had been a few years and R2D2 hadn't acquired the money for Yoda yet. While he was with C3Po on a mission, he began picking the pockets of people on the public transportation ship he was on. The Ghost crew noticed and decided on something that would go with their plan. Chopper went and attacked R2D2 for theft and all droids were forced to be at the back of the ship since they were causing noise. Later, R2D2 was on Lothal with a weapons and goods trader named Vizago and the Ghost crew. R2D2 saw that the Vizago had an item disguised as a flashlight but contained millions of credits. When the Imperials arrived, R2D2 stole the flashlight and hid it inside of himself. R2D2 was prepared if Yoda should ever find him. However, R2D2 didn't want to pay the loan back and wanted to use the money he stole to fix his thrusters and get some upgrades. Empire Strikes Back When Luke went to Dagobah, R2-D2 tried to convince Luke not to go because he owed Yoda money. However, Luke didn't believe R2. When they landed, R2-D2 went into the water so he would die and not have to repay Yoda. However, the monster sat R2-D2 out and R2 went with Luke. When Yoda grabbed the flashlight, R2-D2 tried to stop him. The reason was that the flashlight secretly had something inside that was worth billions of credits. While talking with Luke in his hut, Yoda charged Luke for eating some food. Yoda then trained Luke. After training Luke, Yoda billed him. After Yoda got the X-wing out of the water, Yoda charged Luke more money. At Cloud City, Yoda was a waiter who had overpriced menu items. Somehow, Vader, Nightmare, and Demogoblin didn't recognize Yoda. Yoda also had a crane machine set up in Cloud City that charged 100 credits per try. Return of The Jedi Before Yoda died, he gave Luke a loan. Luke never thought he would have to repay it. The Last Jedi When Yoda appeared in Last Jedi, he wanted his money. He revealed that he had 60% interest on the loan he gave Luke. When Yoda destroyed the sacred tree, he charged Luke more money. Luke refused to give Yoda the money. Yoda gave Luke wisdom and then demanded for Luke to repay his debt. Luke refused. Yoda then told Luke that Rey would be alright and then demanded money. Luke refused again. When Luke died, Luke believed that he wouldn't have to repay the loan. However, Luke was wrong. Yoda immediately found Luke in the afterlife and demanded money. Other Appearances Loan Yoda has also appeared in other universes to offer loans with large interest. Pre Vizsla1's crazy Minecraft Roleplay Loan Yoda has made several appearances in this universe. He usually offers loans in exchange for lots of diamonds. Loan Yoda once gave the materials Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude needed to build but Loan Yoda made them sign a contract. They ended up paying him over a million diamonds. The worlds tallest Nether Portal Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude decided to make the tallest Nether portal. They made an existing portal taller and a little wider. Little did they know, Yoda was on his way to that Nether portal( he was in the Nether and they were in the Overworld). They succeeded in making the portal. Right after they were done, Yoda went through the portal in the Nether and ended up at the top of the portal complex Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude created. Yoda fell off. He used the force to slow his landing so that he landed as soft as a feather. However, Yoda faked his back and neck being injured. He sued Pre Vizsla 1 and CoolDude and took ownership of the massive portal. The Adventures of Ultimate Warrior and Sheogorath Loan Yoda has appeared multiple times to give loans. Minecraft Story Mode In an adventure in the universe of Minecraft Story Mode, team C.R.A.Z.Y. was going to build an anvil for the building competition. However, Loan Yoda liked the idea. He stole their idea and when they tried to stop him, Yoda bribed the manager. They now had to build something else or Yoda would sue them. The team joined Jesse. Later, when the Wither Storm attacked, Yoda tried to defeat it with a large loan. the Wither Storm tried to eat Yoda but Yoda threatened to bill it. Yoda was thrown far away. Yoda later appeared after the Wither Storm was defeated and charged Ivor. Trivia * Loan Yoda is based off Mr. Goodman and the Loan Dolphin. A lot of Yoda's angry quotes are very similar to Mr. Goodman's. Yoda will also personally break kneecaps to get his money like Loan Dolphin. * Yoda's need for merchandising is based off of Yogurt from Spaceballs * It is unknown how Yoda appears in other universes * Loan Yoda loves money * When Yoda showed up at the Jedi Temple as a baby, he was already rich. * Yoda constantly charges everyone money whenever they want something. * When Yoda deliberately spilled water in the Kamino cloning facility, he did that just to get money. He could have saved himself time by deliberately slipping on one of the already present puddles but he chose to be an asshole and spill water on the floor just to slip on it while no one watched him spill it. He also faked being paralyzed * Yoda is always on the lookout for situations he can get money out of. * Yoda has crane machines that are very expensive to play. Yoda even rigged all the machines so that it is almost impossible to win anything. Quotes Early Life Attack of The Clones The Clone Wars "Was that a fucking lightsaber?! Hear a fucking lightsaber did I?! If a lightsaber in here there is, fucked you all are!" -Yoda to the clones after they destroyed a couch. "There is no lightsaber in here" -Captain Rex "Coming in I am. If a lightsaber I see, fucking evicted you all are! You know what! Fucking coming in I am! If see with my two eyes I do, that fucking lightsaber, fucked you all are!"-Yoda. Yoda walks inside and points at lightsaber. "Get the fuck out!"-Yoda after pointing at lightsaber. "Why?"- Commander Fox. "Evicted as fuck you all are! Get the fuck out!"-Yoda before evicting all the clones from the Jedi temple. Revenge of The Sith The Empire Strikes Back Return of The Jedi The Last Jedi Quotes from other universes Gallery Loan Yoda.jpg Loan Yoda 3.jpg Loan Yoda 2.jpg Loan Yoda 6.png Loan Yoda 5.png Loan Yoda 4.png Loan Yoda Meme.png|Meme of Loan Yoda Navigation Category:Greedy Category:Wealthy Category:Star Wars Villains Category:Fanfiction Villains Category:Protagonists Category:Terrorists Category:Male Category:Science Fiction Villains Category:Crossover Villains Category:Anti-Villain Category:Parody/Homage Category:Jerks Category:Businessmen Category:Opportunists Category:Affably Evil Category:Undefeated Category:Aliens Category:Unofficial Immortal Category:Recurring Villains Category:Dimension Travelers Category:Male Villains Category:Master Manipulator Category:Villains who swear